prince_and_dancer93: (Default)
I'm kind of new to this. Already I posted prompts and replied to some other people's prompts. I feel like I should write an actual Phoenix Wright fan fiction not following any of these prompts on here using the script format. Here goes...


April May: Menamenamenamenamena, Menamenamena menamena...

Redd White: Oh will you shut the Hell up?

Dee Vasquez: Meeehaauggh!!

*Grossberg walks in.*

Grossberg: Hey, I'm here to buy some crank...

Dee Vasquez: Meehaauggh!!

*grabs money from Grossberg*

Redd White: Give me the money... I'm the dealer.

*grabs money from Vasquez*

Redd White: You're one of those lawyers, aren't you?

Grossberg: Well, I...

Redd White: I heard they got an electronic drug dealer and YOU'RE gonna help me get it! Ladies... Beat it!

*April and Dee leave.*



Max: Guess which motherfuckin' outfit I picked to get motherfuckin' magical and fabulous in tonight!

Phoenix: Haha! You're so gay...

Ron: Dessie, thank you for doing my hair.

Desiree: No problems, sweetie.

Phoenix: You're such a wuss.

Desiree: Forget you, Nicky boy!

*phone rings*

Desiree: That wasn't funny!

Phoenix: Now who would be calling me at this time?

*Phoenix picks up*

Phoenix: Hello?

Grossberg: Help me Phoenix, I don't want to die!

Redd: Hey, Mr. Wright, this is Redd. I kidnapped Grossberg. You're going to need to hand over your electronic drug dealer... or I'm going to stick a dynamite and shove it right up his goddamn...

Grossberg: HEMORRHOIDS!!!

*Redd hangs up on Phoenix*

Phoenix: Goddammit! That's why I called Maya over here today. I wanted her to get Mia out of there. She exorcised it and Gumshoe decided to leave it here of all places. Good thing I hired the circus and the DeLites to help assemble it...

*looks towards them*

Phoenix: Hurry up, you guys! We need to get this electronic drug dealer together!!

*They all assembled the electronic drug dealer together. Maya walks in*

Phoenix: Alright there... Do you know what though. We need to get Maya to exorcise Mia out of the machine, then we'll rescue that fat lard Grossberg.

*Desiree and Regina both mutter 'How the Hell did we decide to hang out with this jerk?' as Maya reluctantly chants a Kurain ritual.*

*the drug dealer acts up*

*Mia is successfully exorcised out of the drug machine, but she possessed Mia instead and apologizes to Nick about everything.*



Redd: Alright, it's been 18 hours... and Phoenix has never showed up. He's not coming. Look, I stuck the dynamite in his...

Grossberg: HEMORRHOIDS!!

Redd: ...Right... You guys just have to get rid of him. Okay? God, I fucking hate Mr. Wright.

*Dee and April make an effort to put Grossberg in the safe, with a little extra help from Kristoph and Dahlia*

Grossberg: Ohh... Maybe it's not real dynamite, maybe I'm going to live... Maybe I'm going to be okay after a--

*dynamite explodes, Grossberg is dead*


Back with Nick and the others...

Phoenix: Look! I get it! But it has been 18 hours already, and we could have saved Grossberg by now.

Mia: I'm sorry Nick... I really am...

Phoenix: It's alright. Say, we should check if Redd's electronic drug dealer is working.

*Phoenix turns it on. It's going haywire and everyone in the room got high.*

*They're in a Jem music video.*

Max: Awwww!! That's some good stuff!! I've got a guitar!! I'VE GOT A GUITAR!!

Ron: We've fucked up though...

Regina: Aww man! I want a guitar!

Desiree: Woah... This is some good shit!

Phoenix: I can eat my own...

Ron: Dessie look! I'm pole dancing!

Phoenix: FUDGE!! I can eat my own...

Desiree: Wait up! Let me join you!!


A few days later and we're at Grossberg's funeral.

*Everyone is bawling.*

Redd: Aw wait, Mr. Wright! Wait up a second! Wait up! Hold on a second! look I'm sorry about blowing up Grossberg. No hard feelings?

Phoenix: I'm still wondering why you're not in jail still!

Redd: Oh, sorry about that, I paid bail. And I'm here to talk about that electronic drug dealer.

*Edgeworth is there thinking "Unbelieveable" to Redd's dialogue*

Redd: What do you say, can I still have it?

Edgeworth: Shut the fuck up, you freak! That electronic drug dealer is evidence! You're under arrest for killing Grossberg!

Phoenix: Bye! See you in court!!

Redd: Aww shit!

*Gumshoe tackles him*

THE END: I'm sorry. I just saw Jiz and the Mammograms and thought of this bad fan fiction.


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September 2013

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